Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Use "feeling words"
Yay
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
