oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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