first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize