you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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