I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
