I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
