i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
