She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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