i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
