i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
