How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
