It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
