and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
