Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
