did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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