So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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