Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
