Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
