in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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