idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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