when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
