Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
