wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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