im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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