My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize