I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
