omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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