How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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