lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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