What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
