: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
