I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize