I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
