so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Randomize
