Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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