Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
