I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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