Best friends brother. Beat that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont even know how to be here
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
