does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i think my cat just said my name.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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