are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
