Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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