I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize