I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
