Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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