I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There r osticjed everywhere
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
