I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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