look no pants
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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