so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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