No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
