i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
