the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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