those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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