i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
