I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
They took my balls.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
