she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
