mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
