are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
