What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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