If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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