I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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