just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
