you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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