so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
