Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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