Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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