If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
