i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sorry my hands just texted you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize